A letter of apology
The medical community has been part of an institution that has brought both healing and harm. This harm, historically and currently rooted in structural racism, has attributed to distrust between doctors and patients, health care systems and communities. Discrimination, conscious and unconscious hurts and trauma must be called out. Yes, we must find a way to move on, but part of moving on is taking accountability, and that calls for an apology. Having tough conversations are critical to reframe the narrative in the hopes of bringing healing and solutions to help everyone attain their highest level of health.
Please forgive me…
Though my intentions are good
I’m part of a system that hasn’t always done what it should
Took an oath to “first do no harm” with all sincerity
Hypocrisy of The Hippocratic
Mission pursued with vague clarity
Though I’m not the oppressor
I’m guilty by association
Thought the skin I’m in made no representation
Of the hurtful actions; we all played a role
And I’ll stand in the gap if they won’t open their mouths
Please forgive me…
For the times I didn’t listen when you tried to tell me what you were feeling
When I thought my years of training mattered more than your explaining
Dismissing concerns, minimizing, or talking over you
What you said didn’t check the box, so it challenged what I thought was true
For not recognizing you as the expert of your own body
For the times I didn’t treat you with kindness
For not apologizing…
For not apologizing…
For not apologizing…
Pride overtaking compassion
Long waits and short visits, with surprise billing
Burnout masking as no empathy
When everything in me, cares about you and your situation
Please forgive me…
When I allowed the color of your skin to determine how much I would fight for you
Or let you suffer in pain because society taught us that you were only part humane, or had thicker skin, or that you were only trying to get high
What a lie!
Withholding necessary treatment
Traumatic experimentation
All in the name of science!
Please forgive me…
For the times I labeled you as noncompliant, defiant, without finding out why
$5 copay was too much, 2-hour rides on the bus
Lost to follow up
Late, “no show”
I didn’t know
That you really didn’t understand what I explained to you
Speaking a medical dialect
No interpreters
Then assuming you speak the same language as I do
But I’ve been hurt too!
They see me as they see you
The two letters behind my name giving partial protection
And though we move differently
The shade is being thrown in the same direction
I should have been outraged when your babies died!
Whether at the hands of police or a medical system that seemed to be more fascinated by the number of Black mothers and babies dying than trying to fix the problem
When your loved ones, husbands, brothers and sons
Died by chokeholds and guns
I should have cried with you
But the truth is I do care
I care more about you than you know
Mental replays keeping me awake at night: “did I get it right?”, “did I miss something?” “are they gonna be alright?”
Missing out on my own family nights for the sake of practicing this medicine right
The sacrifice of losing a little bit of them to take better care of you… lots of reading, research, prayer
That’s how serious I care for you
Trust never there to be broken
But I’m willing to do what it takes to earn it
We work better together
In this struggle we need each other
I want you to live and not die!
V.I.P., you’re a Very Important Patient to me
There’s more of us for you than against you
So please don’t let the bad few
Give us all a bad name
We’re not all the same
And when you judge the group
We all take the blame
Yes, we’re part of a system rooted in darkness
But most of us are here to bring light
And we shine in all colors: Black, Brown, and White
Excellent health care for ALL is not a privilege it’s a RIGHT
For that I will continue to fight!
Signed, Your Doctor
#mymdcares
Please share your stories of how your doctor cares about you. It’s time to reframe the narrative, build trust, and bring healing in our communities.